if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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