She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So vagazzling was a success
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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