He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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