sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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