I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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