So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
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well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
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It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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