when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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