i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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