i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
