So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
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We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
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I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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