I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize