I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Sorry about my life...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
