What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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