Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
