real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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