WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize