chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
COCAINE IS GR8
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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