Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
