do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
