Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
