maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
