Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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