We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
