There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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