Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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