Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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