At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
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she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
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LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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