Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I am spending my child support on dildos
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
