I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
