That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
