i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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