Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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