Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
