so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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