Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
