More tranny stories later!
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
