Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
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Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize