so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
