It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
