she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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