kristin has been a bad kristin
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
