Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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