so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
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Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
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Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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