My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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