ya dads aren't the best wingmen
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
