No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
