I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
