ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
dude i'm inner monologue high
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
