Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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