Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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