The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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