you win again, gameday.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
