You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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