u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
