you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
