White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
