Walk of Shame. In a state park.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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