I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
