I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
