i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
