Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
