What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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